Dear Moon,
We have spent more time together lately than usual and I guess we have our mutual friend to thank for that. First I have to say that you have looked so pretty lately. I will look forward to seeing you all decked out for your full presentation this weekend. I have to tell you, Moon, that for as long as I can remember I have felt conflicting emotions while in your presence. Memories of being a wee girl looking up into the vast place we call space, bespeckled by stars with your ever changing presence. I remember feeling awed and always quite suddenly panicked with the realization that, comparatively, I was just so very small. Insignificant. Like I might be sucked away if I weren't careful. Memories of being an angst filled teenager and in quietly observing you and your twinkling companions in your home, the night sky. Feeling flooded with all the existential thoughts that you seem to elicit. You made me uncomfortable within myself. Memories of young adulthood and being romanced by you, forgetting the more complicated themes of life and meaning and mortality, but rather focusing on love and promises. And now, dear Moon, I am again in a different place. I willingly accept that I am small because if I am small, then aren't my fears and woes even smaller? I can find some comfort in knowing that I will not endure but that you have and will and that is how it is all meant to be.
A few years ago I created a piece of art that is very meaningful to me and it depicts both you and I (a dreamed up "I" but an I nonetheless). I had never really given the image much thought as to where it came from in my mind or what it meant until recently. And my thoughts are something about the feelings the image evokes; feelings of wishful peace, freedom and self-assuredness. I had never put into formal thought why this piece features you. But I understand now. If I could ever feel those things: peace, abandon, confidence, while you surround me, without swallowing me up, well then, I'd be in a pretty good place, wouldn't you say?
It is only now that I can bravely declare that after so many years I feel like I've learned that you are good for me, despite, or maybe because of, our history. I've grown up a bit, I think. I no longer have to feel that creeping anxiety in your presence, or less than all the others that you gaze down upon. I can allow your mysterious ways and guarded secrets to lure me to you without trepidation. The more I know you, the more I understand your quiet influences and humble wisdom. You are and will always be so very beautiful, inspiring and untouchable. You are vastly powerful in the most gentle and unassuming ways. You are a great deal of good and important things and I am fortunate to have learned that it is true. You are always there, even when you're not.
