Thank you and Good-bye

I wrote this last year just before my hysterectomy. I meant every word.

Dear Uterus,

I have wanted to say a few things to you while we have been alone but I just never seemed to have the nerve at the right time. I suppose you know what’s coming; it has been between us for some time now but I guess I should just come out with it. I’m afraid it is time for us to part. And I am sad and I am sorry but I see no other way around it.

We used to be so good together, you and me. You made me a woman, a mother, two things that are cornerstones of my very identity. Do you remember us being so young and naive when my mom brought home a cake to celebrate the onset of, what would soon be, our tumultuous and regular episodes? That was such an optimistic and exciting time wasn’t it? I’ve learned to manage our ups and downs and have never blamed you when I have been pained.  Do you know how many times you have made me crazy with speculation about your tardiness? You nearly drove me mad at times but your arrival always just made me exalt your name even more. I really thought we would go on like that forever.

Of course, how can I recount our history together without highlighting the best two things we have ever done together? Our babies. Our big, pink, happy, fat, healthy babies. I had such admiration for you during those nine months. I know you felt the same way. No one else can ever know the discomforts and reliefs we endured together. And the labours. Holy shit, Uterus, that was your time to shine! I gained so much respect for you in those moments preceding life on earth. You had help create, grow, protect, nourish and finally expel our babies into a new world. Amazing. And while you were at it, you grew a miraculous new organ each time! I smile at the memory of our doctor showing me our placenta, exclaiming it was the biggest and healthiest he had ever seen. I will never forget marveling at seeing both baby and placenta, in awe that we had done that together without exchanging a thought or word.

Alas, dear Uterus, despite all our achievements I know it will not come as a surprise to you when I say that, in the most basic terms, we are over. You have changed. You used to be so powerful, a quiet though reliable entity. And now, I am so sorry to point out, you have gone soft. And I no longer need to withstand your pains and problems. History and gratitude just are not enough to keep us together. My heart sinks when I think about us apart and yet, I am convinced that it is how it must be.

And so, before saying good-bye, I must say thank-you. I will be forever grateful to you for making me who I am and giving me what I have. I am a proud woman and a blessed mother. I could ask for little else.

I have struggled with and dreaded this final parting moment. I am, in essence, responsible for your demise and I am so very sorry it has come to this. I will always be indebted to you.

Rest peacefully my longtime friend,

Me